I'm sure pretty much everyone has been at a point in life when something has happened to them that at the time feels like the end of the world. No matter how you look at it, right in the moment you just can't see how you are going to get through it or how anything good could come from it.
Whether it's a relationship break up, the loss of a job, or a setback on your journey towards achieving a goal, it can be extremely hard to see how to move forward. Those first few days after the event are spent in a state of shock, and all you can think about is what you've lost or given up, whether you did the right thing and what could have been if you had done something differently. It's difficult to try to focus on the positive in these situations I find, but more often than not, they seem to be a blessing in disguise*, and I've started to try to realise this quicker each time a big change happens.
When I split up with my ex-fiance it took a huge amount of willpower to stick to my guns, take the harder course, and not go back to a relationship that was never going to work even though at the time it would have been easier to do just that. The positives that came from that decision though were huge. They might have taken a while to emerge but had I not left, I wouldn't be happily married with a small person. In fact, I probably would have been very unhappily married with a small person which wouldn't have been good for anyone!
A more recent event in the music part of my life was the split between myself and my co-producer/writer. At the time I was very much dependent on him for his knowledge and ability when it came to writing, recording, mixing and performing my tracks. All of the equipment in my studio was his and he did all of the work behind the scenes. All I had to do was write and sing the lyrics and melodies. When he left, I honestly thought I was going to have to quit. It was such a shock I just couldn't see how I could do it without him. The positives from this one came a lot quicker though. After a chat with my amazing mum (mums always give fab advice I find!) I sat down and made a list of what I needed to do in order to move forward, and categorised them into difficulty levels. It put everything into perspective and made me realise that I could do it without him.
I still need a guitarist so the live gigs are going to have to wait a bit longer but since then I've been able to do things exactly how I want to do them. I haven't had to take into account any opinions that I felt were outdated and haven't felt the need to accept anything that I didn't think was quite right. I've replaced what I need in my studio so I can record when I'm ready. I've also written and remotely recorded a verse for a rapper in America (pretty sure that wouldn't have happened before!), take a listen to what I came up with below. You can hear the full track here.
I've got a lot of learning to do when it comes to the studio work but I like a challenge! I'm writing new songs on my guitar by myself. I'll still need others to write and record the actual tracks but the sound is completely mine and exactly how I want it. Don't get me wrong, I'm still wide open to listening to new ideas but I don't feel beholden to anyone or that I have to keep someone else happy. They're my songs and if I don't like them how will anyone else?!
I'm also now working with a manager who is really keen to get everything moving forward. I've been able to make the decision to go in this direction myself, and not have to work around someone else who maybe had different goals.
So there are super exciting times ahead now. When a couple of months ago I thought my dreams were crashing down around me, I'm now pushing forward and can't wait to see how it pans out. And if it all goes wrong? Well, every cloud has a silver lining*...
*You might have noticed I've thrown in a couple of clichés in this post. That's because I've got a new EP coming out this Friday, 6th September, called 'Cliché'! It's got 5 brand new original tracks on that I can't wait for you to hear so click HERE to pre-save it and listen in full on release day.
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